Adayshanti, author of The End of Your World asks us these questions:
“What would it be like if we didn’t avoid anything we knew to be true? What if we came out of hiding in all areas of our life? What if we completely stopped avoiding ourselves, because that literally is the awakened life?” (p63)
Adyashanti describes truth as simple and sincere. The truth is honest regardless of outcome; it is not convincing or right.
Sometimes we think we are very honest, and we may be, but consider the following:
“We can not control somebody with whom we have been truthful. We can only control people if we tell half-truths, if we shave down what is true. When we tell the total truth, our inside is suddenly on the outside. There’s nothing hidden anymore.”
“Most people are protecting themselves. They are holding a lot of things in. They are not living honest, truthful and sincere lives, because if they were to do so, they would have no control. Of course, they don’t have control anyway, but they would have no illusion of control, either” (p65).
How many times have you been on the receiving end of this type of truth telling? When you know you aren’t being told every fact, you know that your friend or loved one is trying to protect the opinion you have of them, or perhaps they are trying to protect your feelings about a certain situation (in a false way). Conversely, how many times have you recounted an incident, and as much as you try to tell only the truth you realize it is quite impossible; you realize that without the other person about whom you are reporting sitting there with you, recounting her side exactly as she experienced it, you don’t actually know the truth. In those situations you realize there is a difference between facts and perceptions. I experienced this recently when I shared with someone that a very good friend of mine is no longer my friend. I told the story of how we ended up no longer being friends, what she did, how I reacted, and so on. No matter how careful I was in relaying the story exactly as I recall it happening, I realized there was no way for me to tell the truth. Too much of the story involved my friend’s emotions and what she was keeping from me to protect herself, as well as my own words and actions, the impact of which I can never completely determine. I don’t know the truth of what happened anymore than I can share it with someone else. Trying to tell it anyway made me feel ill afterwards. What I should have said is this: We are no longer friends. The friendship was wonderful until it was no longer wonderful. It is a loss that saddens me.
“Truth is a very high standard. Truth is not a plaything. To tell what is true within ourselves is not to tell what we think; it is not to tell our opinion. It is not to dump the garbage can of our mind onto somebody else. All of that is illusion, distortion, projection. Truth is not unloading our opinions onto someone. That is not truth. Truth is not telling our beliefs about things. That is not truth. Those are ways that we actually hide from truth” (p67).
This part of the book made me laugh. Adyashanti wrote that whenever he tells the story of coming clean and being completely honest about who we are, inevitably, the next day someone from his speaking group will tell him that he received a harsh talking to in the parking lot the night before because of this. Someone this person was in the audience with finally spoke exactly what was on her mind about him–and it wasn’t pretty! But Adyashanti asserts, this is not truth telling! Our opinions, no matter how crystal clear, or how long we’ve held them, are not facts.
I learned from Eckhart Tolle that this misunderstanding of truth begins when we are children and objects are labeled for the purpose of developing language skills. We learn that a fact is this: a round rubbery thing that bounces up and down is called a ball. We grow and eventually label people, too. First the labels are simple: she’s happy or he’s hurt. Then we become adults with logical thoughts and strong opinions and the truth becomes more distorted. We think that if we believe something incontrovertibly then it is a fact. This comes about when we discuss someone or something’s value, for instance. This is when we become comfortable saying things like, “He is a horrible supervisor.” Or, “That premium ice cream is worth every penny.” Or, “The Atkins Diet is best for our body and overall health” until it is determined that it isn’t anymore. Confusing, isn’t it?
“Awakening can be the ground from which we meet every person and situation. It can be the ground from which we relate to all the circumstances of life. But this takes a lot of courage and a lot of fearlessness. It also takes something I continue to emphasize: a very simple sincerity…To be anything less than real, to be in avoidance of anything at all, diminishes our experience of who we are…In the end, we must come to see that truth itself is the highest good, that truth itself is the greatest expression and manifestation of love…You can’t have truth without love, and you can’t have love without truth” (p79).
The more I understand truth, the more I understand why it evolves in us later on in the awakening process. There is a lot of ground we must cover before we can develop a truly functional relationship with it. At the end of the chapter on truth, Adyashanti wrote:
“This is not about perfection; it is about wholeness. It is not about having things exactly as we want them, but about having things exactly as they are. When we allow things to be, a sense of harmony develops; the gap between our realization and who we are as a human being gets smaller and smaller. A seamless continuum begins to emerge between realization and expression, awakening and its actualization” (p80).
So, as the old saying goes, the truth really does set you free. But there is much work to be done before you experience this. We must first accept the people and situations in our lives for what they are; we must see the world through loving eyes that cease seeing only separation between ourselves and others. This wholeness that Adyashanti talks about is what makes harmony come about; this wholeness is where we begin to feel fearless and can finally express ourselves for exactly who we are and experience truth and love in its entirety.
:: :: :: :: ::
Thank you to Megan “Joy Girl!” Boyd over at It’s All About Joy! who wrote about Adyashanti in June. Her article (here) compelled me to check out one of his books. I’m very glad I did!
Very thoughtful article. Thanks.
I suppose it comes down to giving up control, and that comes, as you point out, much later in awakening. Probably, we have to overcome fear completely to be nakedly honest.
Thanks,
k
Hi Kaushik,
Have a great weekend! Jodi
Thank you for coming by today! Giving up control and letting go of fear are biggies! The road is long but the destination is grand. It’s our job to enjoy the process and accept each moment as it lovingly “is.” Or something like that!
I explore this concept of honesty in my recent book, Self-Disclosure: Changes from Within. This is not only a glimpse into my journey, it offers a guide into everyone’s journey. Readers can find out more information on my blog. I welcome comments and reviews.
I believe your musings are correct, though sometimes we may doubt our own truth. It is a slippery, interesting realization. -Jayne
Hi, Jodi!
I’m so thrilled that you’re reading this book, and more so that you’ve shared it with us. I may have to get this book next!
Reading about how you handled the “friend” talk was very moving. I related to it and recall not long ago having similar feelings. The truth, as you so beautifully pointed out, is distorted by our filters. The moment I take something into my brain (perception), it’s not 100% truthful anymore because it has to pass through all of my preconditions, judgments, beliefs, what-have-you. It’s really humbling for me to realize this.
I also had a relationship a few years ago that was built on “almost truths.” And as you might have guessed, we “almost” made it. (smile)
Thank you for writing about this… Now I know I need to get that book from the library!
Another way to view things is to realize the truth has always set you free yet you may not have chosen to be consciously aware of your infinite freedom.
Jody, this was wonderful. I might have to add this to my ever growing list of books I haven’t had time to read yet!
“So, as the old saying goes, the truth really does set you free. But there is much work to be done before you experience this. We must first accept the people and situations in our lives for what they are; we must see the world through loving eyes that cease seeing only separation between ourselves and others.”
Well said. Thank you.
Hi Jodi,
Beautiful post! I loved it. You wrote about a subject that is so dear to my heart.
I think many people attach lables to things because it gives them comfort or rather it brings a sense of order. The funny thing is that everything is already in order but people want to control things and so they put label on people and things.
The best thing to do, as you so simply stated, is to allow people to be who they are without judgment. It is my prayer that more and more people reach that point. I think more and more people are.
Hi Liara,
Reading your book is on my list! In the meantime I really enjoy your smart and intuitive posts on Dream Builders Australia, as well as the comments you write around the blogosphere. Your second comment, “Another way to view things is to realize the truth has always set you free yet you may not have chosen to be consciously aware of your infinite freedom” boggles my mind. I think you are right but I don’t know how to wrap my mind around it. Can we consciously be aware of our own infinite freedom when we are living in the dreamstate created by ego–or is this only after awakening? Thank you for your thoughts here today!
Hi Jayne,
Thank you so much for checking out Joy Discovered today! I enjoyed looking over your blog as well. Your graphics are incredible as well as your thoughts that accompany each piece you post.
Hi Megan,
This book has been eye-opening. I am glad to have it and I am so grateful to you for writing about Adayshanti in your original post. If you end up getting this book, I recommend buying it! I checked it out from the library and now have so many post its on areas I wish to remember or record that I have since ordered it so I can re-read it and go to town with my highlighter! It’s a keeper. I think I will refer to this book for a long, long time. Thank you for your comments on the friend talk. I remember a post of yours from a while back (Don’t Be Afraid to See) that struck a chord with me, about how our judgments, whether positive or negative, cloud our vision and make it impossible for us to see the truth in a situation or experience an authentic relationship with a person. Sometimes it seems almost impossible to discern between truth and perception because our thinking mind is a part of everything. Adyashanti asks us if we can ever know anything for certain. It’s a startling question. It makes me wonder if truth is an illusion, or at the very least ephemeral. What it comes down to is being authentic and completely naked about who we are and working our whole life to stay in that awakened, honest state that no longer perceives or filters thoughts. Have a great weekend. Thank you for your presence here. It means the world to me!
Hi Nadia,
Your comment about labels being something that provide comfort or order is so true! But it’s all an illusion, so that’s really kind of funny. Allowing people to be who they are without judgment is not an easy task–especially when my thinking (ego) mind wants everyone to improve themselves and be their best self (!!!) but I am learning, slowly, from your eloquent post the other day (Re-nun-ciation: Why I Didn’t Become a Nun) as well as from Adayshanti in this book is that being awakened is not about seeking a perfect world but accepting the world as it is. My prayer is your prayer that more people reach that point (myself included)!!
Hi Stephen,
Thank you so much for reading Joy Discovered today. This book is great!! I do hope that you add it to your list! Enjoy your weekend!
Your comment could be another very insightful post! Thank you, Jodi. You make this world a wonderful place to be.
Wonderful post! And here comes yet another book for me to read I’m thinking! I agree with Megan – you DO make this world a wonderful place to be!
Jodi,
I’m normally offline during the weekend so I found this to be wonderfully inspiring today!
Thank you for making the world better with this powerful message!
Peggy
Very cool post. I hadn’t thought about it from that standpoint before, that when you aren’t afraid to tell the truth, you’re free. I especially liked this line: “When we allow things to be, a sense of harmony develops” That’s an awesome observation. I’ve felt that at times, but haven’t been able to put it into words. I really enjoyed reading this one. Thanks for sharing!
I love, love, love this post! This is my first visit, referred by Ben from his blog. What you say about truth is, well…true! It really helped me understand what I have been living lately. I am wanting to strip down to this intimate level with myself and it is the scariest yet most exciting thing I’ve ever experienced. My favorite quote is a little clipping from the catoon Skyler, “Remember Skyler, a person’s perception is his reality.” I tell myself this over and over. People are usually seated in a firm and comfortable position, rooted in their reality- the favorite chair syndrome. I used to love the challenge of pulling someone from their seat. But now I am finding I should just let them sit. I am free- to enjoy myself as I am. Likewise, I cannot be pulled into a chair because to do so as I have done is not being truthful- because I simply do not like sitting (at least not for too long in one chair)!
Thank you for the post. Have a wonderful day!
Hi Suzen,
Thank you for your comment. You brought a smile to my face!
Hi Peggy,
You go offline on weekends?? I am impressed! I think I may have to figure out how to do that myself! What a wonderful break to take from technology…I think you may be on to something! Thank you for coming by and for your nice comment!
Hi Ben,
I was wondering what you have been up to! I hope you enjoyed a great vacation! I am glad you came by today and I can’t wait to read your next post! That line you quoted me on–I learned that from the Adyashanti book. It’s a good read. It is giving me the gift of clarity on many things!
Hi Genevieve,
Thank you so much for stopping by Joy Discovered! I am glad this post spoke to you. Your metaphor of sitting in our favorite old chair viewing the world from only that perceived reality is a good one! It’s a very evolved view to determine you can let others sit in their chair and be, that you no longer feel the need to yank them up from it. Thank you so much for leaving a comment!
Thanks for this. It is funny that we see ourselves as “nice” by holding back what we’re actually feeling, even though what we’re really doing is manipulating and deceiving someone else to keep the status quo.
Hi Chris, Your comment is dead on! Thank you for stopping by today!
Hello Jody,
I found your site through Barbara’s introduction on her blog. This is an extremely well-thought out post. You write very well and manage to explore the issue honestly and, dare I say it, truthfully.
While true that our opinions are not an objective truth, they are the truth of what we feel. There is some good in acknowledging that, while knowing that feelings are fleeting and so not to put too much weight on them.
Loved reading this!
Hi Daphne, You make some interesting points in your comment. For example, your thought that our opinions are not objective but they are the truth of what we feel. What if our opinions are based on beliefs that are false (inherited from others, not necessarily authentic)? Then truth goes out the window again! You are so right that emotions are fleeting and so we can’t put too much weight on them. This would be a fun discussion to have in person! Thank you so much for stopping by. You are a pleasure to know!
hi Jodi,
My heart is very expressive, but i am realizing more and more lately I do not know how to express myself clearly. (I am still trying to clear my throat chakra.)
i secretly envy those who can express themselves in love and truth in a few lines. i still have to edit, and edit, and shhhhhhh myself to say what i really mean, i guess i’m still working it all out. there is a lot in me, i’d love to get out but i just feel how? its so deep, but i don’t feel I can express it properly.
I struggle between protecting myself and not saying too much jibberish. lol. I feel like some people might think I’m too honest and others might think i’m not protecting myself enough. what I think? I still care too much of what others think and i despise that, and i’m still learning to inhabit my own body and figure out the truth of who i am.
At least now I know its all within,.. and its a mystical lovely winding journey, that gets bumpy but its worth it all!
I wish to be transparent in love, and to listen more and talk less, otherwise i talk too much and the defensive need arises or the illusion is sent out and then I feel i must also protect that; for fear of being misunderstood. I hate being misunderstood; but then I remember the quote that says something to the effect –the only thing worse than being misunderstood is to be completely understood. this is quite true! so here I am with this illusion upon illusion to work through.
sometimes i just want my wings, so i can not have to ‘intermingle’ though i love people and want to, i must learn to express what is true. minus the other jargon.
The illusion that i squirm with most is that others are mad at me. This assumption is really a waste of emotional time and energy and i’ve learned it is the ego:for it loves to be left wondering. So i recognize and push the thoughts away now. I’m trying to put a stop to it. Do you think it is fear of conflict?
When I connect with someone, I am tempted to pour my heart out at times because I am such a soulful person that when i find other kindred spirits I’m just so amazed at the beauty.
I believe both must be mature enough to respond without needing to ‘protect with the illusion’ ..
i hope i’m not confusing,.. anyway, thank-you! I really enjoyed this blog!
i’d love to hear some of your wise feedback if you have time
sincerely,
~Jen
sunsetdreamcreations@yahoo.com
Hi Jen,
I really appreciate you giving so much of yourself in this comment. I will be happy to correspond over email. We have some things in common!
hi Jodi,
already I am feeling more aligned. I’d love to follow you from here, and thank you for your beautiful site 
I enjoy your blogs! Namaste blessings~Jen/Sharmila
I am the same person who posted above -last comment.
~I dedicated a site to my personal ‘healing’ journey a few days ago as I am committing to honor Truth; my highest values. Others who wish to commit to their ongoing journey can enjoy the journals if they feel it helps them too
Hi Jen,
I think it is wonderful that you created a blog all about committing to your personal truth! I am glad you are already feeling the benefits and feeling more aligned. How wonderful! Blessings! Jodi
hi Jodi, I was nudged back here again today,.. and close to tears at the opening quote: “What would it be like if we didn’t avoid anything we knew to be true? What if we came out of hiding in all areas of our life? What if we completely stopped avoiding ourselves, because that literally is the awakened life?” (p63)
why is it SO hard?! .. it feels my soul is accelerating faster than my body can keep up! you are a beautiful soul in my network and I appreciate you! just wanted you to know.. hugs, ~Jen
Hi Jen,
I have more to tell you but I’ll send it in an email. Keep being gentle with yourself, you can do this! Jodi
[...] is where our beloved Adyashanti comes in. A while back I wrote about his book The End of Your World. I gained so much from that one book. I have been mulling over something Adyashanti wrote for the [...]
love this! missed wordpress. been gone for too long… how are you?
kae
http://www.kaelovinlife.wordpress.com
Hi Kae!
Things are good! How are you? I hope your break from WordPress was a pleasant one? I still come by your site to see if there are new entries. I am looking forward to more of your poetry! Best to you! Jodi