On Friday, I wrote about determining what your advice would be to a recent high school or college graduate. I encouraged you to think about this advice over the weekend, as giving your mind the gift of time allows your most inspired thoughts to surface. I thought about this subject a lot, off and on, as I planted flowers on Friday and prepped food for a Father’s Day dinner we hosted on Saturday. Thinking this subject through while engaging in activities that were enjoyable to me made my time feel all the more meaningful. What I came up with follows.
Advice for the Graduates of 2009: Secrets for a Happy and Successful Life
Own technology, don’t let technology own you.There is a time and place for texting, cell phones, TV and Internet surfing and it is a lot less than you think. Keep your technology use in check and remember that the most valuable communication is still person to person.
Maintain an attitude of gratitude. A big part of successful living is being in the present moment. A key to being in the present moment is to always accept the moment or situation you are in for what it is. It may not be an ideal situation, but you accept it. A key to helping yourself be present is to look for gratitude in your everyday life, which means you must be aware in the present moment to notice that which around you is good or beautiful. When you maintain an attitude of gratitude, your life is truly abundant. (Adapted from Eckhart Tolle.)
Follow your intuition, always. Your inner voice is a strong force. It will point out when you should “go for it”, when you are avoiding something out of fear, when you are involved with someone who can’t quite be trusted, and when you have met someone who truly has your best intentions at heart, among many other things.
Buy only what you can afford. Work hard to maintain a debt-free lifestyle. People, and meaning, are far more important than a too-fancy house, a too-fancy car, a too-fancy TV or too-fancy clothes, etc. Nothing beats the freedom that comes from having paid for everything you own.
Start contributing to a Roth-IRA (or 401k) as soon as possible. You will be amazed by the amount of money you will have accrued upon retirement if you start saving even $100 per month in your early twenties.
Always be learning. Never lose your curiosity about life. Explore absolutely everything that interests and engages you. The sky is the limit.
Have fun! Be willing to laugh at yourself, be silly, and go out for a good time with your friends. Make having fun a daily part of your life.
Show Up. Be in charge of the energy you bring to others. Engage in real and meaningful conversations. Give every interaction and situation your full attention.
Take time to reflect, every day. Life is all about living, experiencing, sharing, and taking time to reflect if you are living an authentic and meaningful life. Both large and small course corrections are necessary for living your best life. Remember, a happy life is uncomplicated. It’s time for changes, some big, some small, if your life is feeling complicated.
Surround yourself with good people. A strong support system is vital. Seek out employers, and friendships, with those whom you admire and respect. Be sure that your friends are not only there for you when times are tough but also when you are happy! Good friends celebrate each others triumphs!
Marry for love, marry once. Take your time in choosing a marriage partner. Find that one special and amazing person who inspires you, has something to teach you, supports your dreams, gives you solace in tough times, is completely trustworthy, is beautiful on the inside and out, and is a raging good time to be with. Make sure all of these characteristics go both ways! Understand that a strong marriage requires both partners to commit to loving each other forever, to treating each other with kindness and respect, and to growing yourself and your marriage up to and beyond your/its fullest potential. This means that one or both of you may have to explore and grow beyond not so great parts of yourself and let go of painful experiences from the past. All the hard work is worth it! Being married to a person you love, love, love and who is your best friend in the whole world is truly heaven on earth.
Mistakes are part of the growing process. It’s what you learn from your mistakes and how you apply that knowledge to your life that makes all the difference. Be compassionate with yourself when you make mistakes. They happen. It’s okay. Grow, make amends if necessary, and do better next time.
Determine what it is you love and find a way to do it everyday. There are a hundred different ways to work on something that is directly or indirectly involved with your passion. Love baseball? Become a professional baseball player! Not enough talent? That’s okay. Work for a sports team as a physical therapist or trainer, work for a ballpark managing the field. Work in sports marketing, manage ticket sales, work on team promotions or advertising placement in the stadium. Get the idea? If you are willing to be creative, there are so many ways for you to do what you love everyday!
Learn how to take a compliment. Believe that when someone says something nice to you, she means it. Say “thank you!”
Learn how and when to write a thank you note. Whether someone made a difference, an impression, sent a gift or did you a favor, you must express gratitude! In this age of technology, it is now acceptable to send a thank you via email, but if you have the recipient’s address, a hand-written card makes the most memorable impression. Most important, dear graduates, always, always, write a prospective employer a thank you note for having taken the time to interview you!
Learn how and when to make a sincere apology. Mistakes happen. Acknowledge the hurt or damage done. Take responsibility for the situation and your part in the event. State your regret and promise that it won’t happen again. Ask forgiveness and what can be done as restitution. Look the person you have wronged in the eyes, speak slowly and mean it. Keep in mind that the statement, “I’m sorry you feel that way” is not an apology.
Take advantage of your youth! Travel to amazing places! Meet interesting people! Be adventurous! Take risks! Challenge yourself!
Believe in the goodness of the world. And know that the positive actions of one person can make a difference.
You only get this one life. Make it count! Be memorable! Make a difference! Do something that makes your heart sing and elevates the lives of others!
It’s your turn! What did you come up with? I would love to compare notes and be enlightened by your perspective! Please leave a comment with your thoughts and advice!
Fabulous advice for high school and college graduates!
Jodi, those are great! I was thinking about your challenge all weekend. It will be hard to add anything of value to your already great list, but here’s what I came up with:
- Never Say Never (because we just don’t know what we don’t know… and any time I’ve said “Never,” the Universe made me eat those words!)
- Man’s Rejection Is God’s Protection (aka, everything happens for a reason)
- What Others Say or Do to You Has Very Little to Do w/ You, and Everything to Do w/ Them
- You Will Always Get Back the Intent of What You Give Out (give love, get love)
I honestly couldn’t wait to see your list, Jodi, and true to form, it’s brilliant!
I wish I’d had it (or been ready for it) when I was graduating.
Be well!
Hi Peggy, Thank you for your comment! Have a great week!
Hi Megan, Your advice is definitely valuable! I agree with every one of them. Never Say Never has made me eat my words, too, and it’s usually a lesson I wasn’t particularly proud to be learning! I haven’t heard that phrase Man’s Rejection is God’s Protection before, that’s a really interesting way of putting it. I believe in that whole-heartedly. The What Others Say or Do Has Very Little to Do with You, and Everything to Do with Them is difficult to accept, especially when you are young, but so true, and really great advice. And give love, get love has been one of the best lessons every – that’s a great one, too! Thank you for taking the time to share your list!
Cool!