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A Gardening Tale

November 3, 2009 by Jodi Sloane

NemesiasWe have this potted plant outside our front door. For a while it was a really pretty gardenia. We loved its fragrant and gorgeous blossoms. Then some hot, dry, end of summer days came around and our gardenia started looking a little whithered. We added water but it didn’t seem to make a difference. We added more water and still, there wasn’t any difference. The gardenia plant eventually died. When I pulled the gardenia out of the pot, I saw that the roots had all but disappeared, and the potting soil was basically a soggy marsh…it even smelled a bit swampy. Evidently, the gardenia hadn’t been drinking the water at all (and we had a bit of a drainage problem). 

Several days later I planted some purple nemesia flowers. As I planted these flowers, I noticed again how soggy the soil was. I wasn’t sure how these plants would perform in this environment but I thought we would just have to give them a chance.

It has been a month and a half now and I have yet to water this pot. The nemesias are drinking up the water in the soil and appear to be thriving. We have enjoyed bloom after bloom of these delicate purple beauties.

I just love the life lesson embedded in this story. Our environment is so important. While I do believe it is possible to “bloom where you’re planted,” I also believe that sometimes we can be living in an environment that absolutely stifles us and makes it impossible for us to grow. So today, I ask you to look at your life. Consider your family, your friends, your job, your home, the car you drive in each day, the road you take in to work, things like that, and reflect on whether or not these are contributing to your demise, or your vitality. If you are being cut off at the roots, make some changes to protect yourself. Perhaps you need more order in your life or perhaps you need to be less rigid; perhaps you need to spend more time with the friends who make you feel loved and accepted and less time with the others; perhaps you need to spruce up your home, whether by cleaning it, decluttering it, or adding a few inexpensive decorating touches. 

If you are blooming where you are planted, give thanks!

Posted in Environment | Tagged , | 21 Comments »

Knowing vs. Doing

October 19, 2009 by Jodi Sloane

I have exercised on and off…mostly off, for the past three years. I’ve decided I’m ready to tackle this; I want to be in shape and feel healthy and strong again. Last week I met with a personal trainer. This is a big deal for me, because I usually don’t ask for help, especially help I have to pay for. But I decided this time, if I am going to stick with an exercise program, I need to be accountable to the money I’m spending, as well as the person I’ve enlisted to look after me.

Our meeting was great. Before my trainer designed my workout we talked about my fitness goals and what I like to do for exercise. She asked me how often I’m eating and what I have been eating at each meal. I told her I’ve been skipping breakfast a lot and snacking and only occasionally eating a good lunch. Her eyes grew big, and then she reminded me how important breakfast is for our metabolism and overall health. She suggested I eat four to six times per day, and that I make sure there are plenty of vegetables and lean protein in my diet. I started to open my mouth to defend myself. I wanted to tell her that I know all this, that I know when to eat, what to eat…but then, before saying anything, I closed my mouth. I realized that if I’m not doing all this, if I’m not consistently eating breakfast and consistently making healthy food choices, I have no claim on that knowledge anymore. When it comes to fitness and healthy eating, we can know all we want but if we’re not doing it, we are neither fit nor healthy.

This got me to wondering if there are other things I know are good for me that I am not doing. The truth of the matter is, there are quite a few things. I would imagine that is the case for a lot of us. There are things we mentally take note of, look into further and approve of. We commit to doing these things as soon as we can. And then for whatever reason, we put them off.

So this is my lesson right now…it’s time to collect my thoughts on exactly what is best for me and make sure I’m putting thought to practice. The act of doing is what counts. Collecting knowledge is good and important but thoughtful integration of these practices is what makes all the difference.

I’m starting with exercise and eating right. From there, I’ll keep fine tuning.

How about you? Is there anything you need to change from an “I know” status to a “I do that!” status?

Posted in Body, Mind, Self-Care | Tagged , , | 24 Comments »

Love in All Directions

October 13, 2009 by Jodi Sloane

I am in the middle of reading ”A Thousand Names for Joy,” written by Byron Katie. There is a chapter where Katie showcases the Inquiry, or what she calls The Work. The Work is a creation of Katie’s, consisting of four questions and a turn around:

  1. Is it true?
  2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
  3. How do you react when you believe that thought?
  4. Who would you be without the thought? and, Turn it around.

This inquiry is what Katie suggests we put into play anytime we recognize a thought that is causing us to suffer. Why? Because when we have a certain thought that is or is not true, our mind comes to the rescue and provides proof for why we should continue thinking that thought. In this mad cycle, we create our own suffering. For example, if someone is living in a way that is completely contrary to your beliefs, and your every encounter with him/her absolutely makes you crazy, The Work would help you to realize that it is actually not this person’s actions that cause you to suffer, it’s your thoughts about that person’s actions. When you realize you can’t absolutely know your thoughts on this person to be true, and then realize how stressed out and crazy you feel because you are believing these thoughts, and then realize how peaceful and maybe even joyous you would be without those thoughts…well, in that way, you set yourself free. The Work is a tool we can use to help us accept, and love, what “is,” including difficult people!

Let’s get back to this chapter showcasing The Work in action. Katie was talking to a man named Peter, who is dyslexic. Peter related the following: “‘I’m angry at my reading and writing disability, my dyslexia, because it makes it hard to write, read, communicate, do the Internet, e-mail, work’” (p32). Katie goes through The Work with Peter, and eventually he comes around, realizing for him, dyslexia is a gift, as it frees up so much of his time, among other reasons. He also admits to himself that he is rather talented; the solutions he has created for problems related to reading and writing are quite clever. Over the course of their conversation, Peter is able to let go of his anger, and even laughs at himself.  He really starts to come around. This is the part that got me:

‘KATIE:  You know those people I was describing to you, the ones who didn’t understand, who were so impatient? I was one of those. That’s how I treated my daughter. She’s dyslexic.

PETER:  You bitch! [The audience laughs.]

KATIE [nodding her head]:  Yes.  [Pause.]  You know what a bitch is? Someone who simply believes what she thinks. Pure ignorance! That leaves you to love us, until we understand. But only if you want to be happy’” (p38).

There is such beauty in that statement!! Katie said to Peter, “‘That leaves you to love us, until we understand. But only if you want to be happy.’” 

There are things we will come to understand about ourselves, about life. Not everyone is going to be in agreement with who we are, what we do, or why…but if we want to be happy, we have to love them anyway, until they understand. And if they don’t ever understand, that’s okay, too. We keep loving them anyway—If we want to be happy.

I think what Katie was expressing here is that loving what is, also means loving people in their “as is” state. What we believe about how others live their lives, or how we believe others perceive us living our own lives simply does not matter. That is madness and that will only cause suffering—because we are wishing things to be different over which we have little to no control. In this particular case, Katie suggested that Peter “love” or show compassion toward people who don’t understand dyslexia, or don’t understand that he has dyslexia. If someone is irritated that he is taking so long to write a check, he should simply explain that he has dyslexia and maybe even ask the person to help him write his check, or as Peter added in the conversation, “Use a credit card!”  In this way, Peter is no longer at war with his dyslexia. Because he has realized it is a gift, he no longer resents it and he no longer feels shame for having it. The shame he associated with dyslexia before doing The Work is what caused his anger. When he no longer believes his thoughts about shame, he no longer suffers. Peter is free!

This passage in “A Thousand Names for Joy” provides further illumination for the many ways in which we can take responsibility for our own happiness. I hope Katie’s lesson leaves a lasting impression on you, as it did me. I see myself in the “bitch” who is ignorant and believes her own thoughts…I also see myself in the compassionate person who loves others even when they judge or don’t understand. Through this lesson, I have learned the importance of giving love in all directions. If I want to be happy…

Posted in Books, Community & Connection, Joy, Spirit | Tagged , , | 20 Comments »

Opinions, Gratitude and Bridging the Gap

October 6, 2009 by Jodi Sloane

I write entirely to find out what I’m thinking, what I’m looking at, what I see and what it means. What I want and what I fear.”     Joan Didion

Opinions

When did our opinions become so important? We live in this extremely self-indulgent society where the court of public opinion, rather than the simple truth, decides the fate of things that aren’t even our business to begin with. With the media, commercials, movies and television shows, we really have been trained to give much too much value to our own opinions. I’m talking about the egoic opinions we all have, narrating our every encounter, clouding true reason with relentless little judgments. Outwardly, when we speak these forbidden thoughts, we are gossiping. We fool ourselves into thinking that gossiping is a way of bonding, we think it builds trust between people when actually every whispered utterance chips away at the collective spirit. As we begin to realize how ugly gossip is, even when it’s whispered only to a close friend or relative, even when it’s shared only with our trusted partner, we cease giving these thoughts a voice. Yet these thoughts are still nasty little seeds planted in the garden of our minds, tainting the filter through which we perceive the world and everyone in it.

Over time, the thoughts decrease and we begin to see more people and events through loving eyes; we cease labeling everything and we try our hardest to see the best in every person and situation. But the dreaded thoughts do still rear their ugly heads on occasion. This is troubling. When we commit to honoring the best in all beings and yet these thoughts still pop up, we are most certainly troubled.

Gratitude

Gratitude is one way we can combat the ego. Gratitude opens our hearts to accepting what IS. The more we accept what is, the more open we are to accepting others for who they are and the more open we are to accepting ourselves as we are, flaws and all. The more we embrace acceptance the more we are filled with love for this life we are so blessed to live. I have mentioned gratitude countless times in this blog because it is such a powerful tool for living a joyful life. Gratitude helps us resurrect the joy that dwells within us.

Simply acknowledging that you are grateful for your life is wonderful. But to gain the full benefits of gratitude, we must practice it. This involves keeping a notebook at your bedside and on a regular basis, recording three to five things (or more when you are so inclined) that you are grateful for from your day. When you first begin doing this, it may be difficult. Your mind instantly grasps for the things in your life you are “supposed” to be grateful for. While those things are certainly worth the gratitude, the practice of gratitude is really about breaking your day down and feeling gratitude for the small acts of kindness, happiness, luck or what have you, that you experienced. An entry may be something like this:

October 5, 2009

  1. I am grateful for the view of the Pacific as I crested the hill on Alga this afternoon. It was breathtaking.
  2. I am grateful that after my son’s booster shots today, he learned how calming a big breath in and out can be.
  3. I am grateful my older son had such a happy lightness to him today and that homework was effortless.
  4. I am grateful for the five minute chat I had with my friend today, outside her house.
  5. I am grateful that while I got a great deal crossed off my to do list today, I managed also to take care of my kids in a way that they knew they came first and were special. I haven’t felt in harmony like that in a very long time.

As we collect these lists each night, we are training ourselves to have a ‘gratitude mindset’. Pretty soon you will find you are subconsciously looking for the next positive spark to add to your night’s list, which means that low and behold you are starting to expect the positive in your life. You realize the little things are the big things: you begin to feel as wonderful when the items on your grocery list are on sale at the store, as when you are given a raise at work. You learn that you are equally pleased by someone holding open the door for you as you are by receiving a gift. Your gratitude for the big joys in life is not diminished but added to that, you now have raised the impact that small moments have on you. It is in this way that you experience a shift in your world. It is in this way that you begin to see and feel love towards everyone and everything–because you begin to feel love all around you. Gratitude envelopes you like a warm blanket. You relish the comfort and pay it forward; and so the love in your world expands, as does the warmth you perceive around you.

Bridging the Gap

And yet, gosh darn it, every now and again, you still find yourself having a violently bitter thought about a situation or person. I have been so frustrated by another that I called him/her “worthless” in my mind. How awful is that? The loving being that you now know yourself to be looks at this and wonders where in the world is this bitterness coming from? How can it be? I thought I had overcome my ego? I thought I was on the path to living an awakened life?

This is where our beloved Adyashanti comes in. A while back I wrote about his book The End of Your World. I gained so much from that one book. I have been mulling over something Adyashanti wrote for the past few months and I think it applies here. He wrote that even those who are awakened have an egoic thought rise to the surface occasionally. What he would do in those instances is go to a coffee shop and write in his journal endlessly, trying with all his might to get to the origin of this egoic thought, to this bitterness. The point he made in why this is necessary for one to do is that quite often we come to terms with something intellectually without completely processing the emotional component. These  instances when bitterness boils to the surface are actually opportunities for us to bridge the gap between our intellect and our emotions.

I recognize this in myself. There are some situations I have lived through that were emotionally very painful. At the time they occurred, everything seemed to be happening so fast that I’m not sure I was even capable of processing everything I was feeling. Growing up and past those events though, I would say that intellectually I have made peace with it all; I have crossed every ”t” and dotted every ” i”.  And yet, the ego rears its head. So I am learning, like Adyashanti once did, to sit with my bitterness when it bubbles up and investigate it, and in so doing, give myself a chance to recognize the raw emotion that is still within me, and to make peace.  I embrace the harsh emotions, let them cycle through me, counsel them, and set them free. In this way, I am showing myself a love that is patient, forgiving and nurturing. Which brings us back to the concept of acceptance, once again.

Our greatest tool for combatting the ego is accepting the present moment for everything it is, exactly as it is. How do we do this? By practicing gratitude. This must be done on a regular basis. This type of thinking, feeling, being, living is like a muscle and it must be exercised so that it can remain vibrant and strong. This is a spiritual practice we commit to on our path to awakening and also once we have awakened. This spiritual muscle keeps us strong of heart and pure of spirit.

Posted in Books, Joy, Mind, Quotes, Spirit | Tagged , , , | 24 Comments »

My Happy Place, Your Happy Place

September 29, 2009 by Jodi Sloane

I have written before that I am a scrapbooker. Almost all of our major events have been highlighted in our family albums. Along with the albums, I have boxes and boxes of duplicate photos. Recently, I decided it was time to go through them all and save only our favorites. In the process, I came across pictures from when I was pregnant with my first son. It occurred to me that this pregnancy was the happiest time in my whole life. I can go right back to the feelings of joy and abundance I felt then. It was a period filled with hope and excitement. Everything had a silver lining. If I was tired, I was supposed to be. If I was energetic, I was supposed to be. If I was craving a milkshake, well then I better get one. Every bubble, thump or poke in my belly had meaning. Being pregnant was sheer bliss. Everything about it was positive. Conversations came easy. Strangers were helpful and pleasant. It was a special time in my life and a special time in my marriage; it was all around spectacular.

Thinking back on this time of ultimate joy and happiness prompted me to think of other times when I felt thoroughly happy. I thought of vacations I have taken with my husband, when we have been relaxed and playful, and not at all preoccupied by work; when we have had lots of time to read and be outdoors, when we have had plenty of sleep and delicious, healthy food. I thought about when I was a child and I went camping with my grandparents in the redwoods; or the times my brother and I went for long bike rides with my dad; or the Friday nights when my brother and I were little, snuggled on the couch with my mom to watch Dukes of Hazard–always with Pepsi and popcorn to add to the fun.  I think about my family now and the days we spend at the beach; when we take our boys to the movies or out for bowling or miniature golf and they can’t stop grinning from ear to ear. Soon a flood of memories came back that were all of really happy moments in my life, past and present. Remembering these events made me feel like I was glowing inside. The joy I feel recounting these memories is as real now as it was when the events actually occurred. This has been documented. The brain does not know the difference between a real or an imagined event. Whether I am experiencing joy in the moment, or recounting joy from twelve years ago, endorphins are sent from my brain throughout my body.

This is when I realized something. I have a happy, joyous life right now. But, I do get caught up sometimes in the day-to-day minutiae. I know we all have that tendency. Sometimes, one can become so wrapped up in the minutiae that one’s existence begins to feel flat. And sometimes, feeling “flat” becomes the norm and happiness, or joy, is a faded memory that seems out of reach. Around that time, someone comes along and recommends making affirmations about the life you want to have. The advice is always the same: feel how good it is to have what you want as though it is already here, or accomplished. This is how you create the life you want; not by whining, complaining or numbing out, but by positive visualization and right action. A small problem can occur, though, when you no longer remember what true happiness or joy feels like. And so you read these affirmations to yourself and you try to imagine how you should feel if your goal comes to life but there is a major disconnect. There is a disconnect between what you “should” feel and what you actually know how to feel. What to do then?

I recommend sitting in a quiet place for several minutes over the next few days and going back in your memory bank for supremely joyful events. Write them down, make a list. Once you get started, these memories will come flooding back. Once you have a list, look it over and feel the joy you had in each of those moments. Hold that feeling there and say to yourself, “Ah ha! This is what joy feels like. This is it. I remember!” Notice the sensations you experience in your mind and body as you acquaint yourself with these memories. Now, each day, read over your list of happy, joy-filled moments and feel the joy again. This is referred to as going to your ”happy place.” While still feeling the sensations of joy, think about the life you have today, and the life you want. You will notice first that you are grateful for who you are and what your life is at this moment. Next you will notice that your goals, or affirmations, come alive and begin to really feel possible. Do this each day and your sense of wonder will be restored. Your heart will open up again and swell with joy. Most important, simply feeling good will become easier.

Posted in Joy, Mind, Spirit | 26 Comments »

Expressing Thanks

September 21, 2009 by Jodi Sloane

For the last twenty years I have had, on occasion, terrible migraine headaches. They started when I was in high school. Anytime I saw a doctor, I was given advice from the same script: drink plenty of water, exercise regularly, and watch the caffeine intake. For the most part, I did drink plenty of water, exercise regularly and watch my caffeine intake, so this advice really didn’t help me. I continued to get the headaches. Finally, a couple of years ago, I told a new doctor that I had these headaches. He told me the same advice I’ve always heard and I pushed back. I explained how they last for three days, how much Ibuprofen I take for them, and how I still don’t feel any relief. I told him how I am a mother, and I don’t feel right having these headaches and being grumpy and in pain for several days when I have small children to love and care for. I explained that I get them as many as six times a month. He referred me to a neurologist.

Before my neurology appointment, I kept a log of what I was eating and drinking, what kind of exercise I was getting, and when my headaches occurred. I rated my headaches for pain and marked their duration. I was determined to be taken seriously. My neurologist was kind. He read my headache log and told me I definitely had migraines. He prescribed triptans, which I take at the first sign of a headache. He told me it was time to get my life back.

I began using the medication and I was amazed. What a difference! Most of my headaches could be stopped now before they caused any full-blown pain. I was gratified to my core!

This is where my story really begins. It’s not my intention to make you sit through an entire article on my medical history!  Two weeks after my appointment, I was driving out of a shopping center and I thought I saw my neurologist. I had to say something! My heart started racing. I felt like a silly movie-star groupie!! I rolled down my window, and yelled out, “Dr. XXX! My name is Jodi. I’m one of your patients. I saw you recently and the headache medication you gave me is changing my life! The headaches aren’t taking over anymore! You made such a difference. Thank you for taking the time to help me!” My doctor’s demeanor was quiet, and he said, “I was just walking here, feeling down on myself about something from earlier today. You really made me feel good. Thank you. I appreciate you saying something.”  We said our goodbyes and I drove off.

The significance of this moment was not lost on me. I learned the importance of not taking for granted how crucial it is to express gratitude—even to those whose greatness we think is so huge, they don’t need to hear how wonderful they are or be reminded of the contributions they make.

Everyone has a bad day every now and again. I caught my neurologist in the midst of his own. If I had not been in my car and worried about stopping traffic; if I had had a couple more minutes to observe him before speaking, I think I would have noticed his slumped shoulders and that he was deep in thought, and I probably would have passed on saying something, thinking I should just leave him be and send him a thank you note instead. I’m so glad there wasn’t time for that. I’m glad I spoke up, even if I spoke fast, and really did seem like a teeny-bopper groupie in my giddiness.

Who in your life would you like to thank?

Posted in Body, Mind, Spirit | 18 Comments »

Is Life Fair?

September 16, 2009 by Jodi Sloane

I listened to an interview between Sean Stephenson and Dr. Mehmet Oz on XM Radio a few weeks ago. I was captivated by Stephenson’s charisma. He has figured life out and he knows without a doubt how to live happily, peacefully and in a way that is absolutely fulfilling. It was a joy to hear him speak. I am so impressed by him.

As is usually the case, when I listen to XM radio it is while I am driving in my car and getting in and out for errands. I rarely hear entire segments or guest interviews in one sitting. I was happy this week when I caught the replay for this interview. What I learned this time around, listening to a different segment of the interview, is that Sean Stephenson was born with a genetic disorder called osteogenesis imperfecta. This disorder causes one’s bones to be extremely fragile; it also stunts one’s growth. Stephenson is three feet tall and has broken the bones in his body hundreds of times over the course of his life. Now I was really intrigued by Stephenson! He obviously had to overcome a lot of obstacles in order to feel this good about life—and clearly he has. He is an absolute success story.

At the end of the interview, Dr. Oz asked Stephenson if he ever feels like life isn’t fair, implying that in Sean’s case, he might be justified in thinking he received a raw deal. I absolutely loved Stephenson’s reply. I think you will, too. He said that he thinks life is fair because we were each given the ability to adapt and have gratitude. How about that? The next time you or I encounter a challenging person or situation, let’s keep this in mind.

After this interview, I did some research on Sean Stephenson. Turns out he is quite well-known, and extremely accomplished. At only 30 years old Stephenson is a practicing psychotherapist and motivational speaker. Earlier this year, he released a self-help book called ”Get Off Your ‘But’: How to End Self-Sabotage and Stand Up for Yourself.” Sean Stephenson has also “worked on Capitol Hill as Legislative Affairs Support Staff for Congressman William O. Lipinski AND in the White House as a Presidential Liason for the Office of Cabinet Affairs” (Sean Stephenson website). He is currently pursuing a PhD in Clinical Hypnosis.

I’m posting a local news interview with Stephenson. You can see and hear for yourself what a wonderful perspective he has on life.

 

Posted in Joy, Mind, Spirit | Tagged , | 18 Comments »

Simple Pleasure: Family Movie Night

September 14, 2009 by Jodi Sloane

Kit DVD

We love family movie night at our house! One or two times a month, we gather ’round the TV, turn off all the lights, make a bowl of popcorn for everyone (each with their favorite candies mixed in), and snuggle up to watch a show.  Saturday night’s feature was Kitt Kittredge: An American Girl.

I wasn’t sure if my two boys (aged 7 and 5) would go for this movie, considering they are more the Transformers and Star Wars types but I thought we would give it a try. It was a success! The movie was really enjoyable and we loved the messages that were part of it. Kitt Kittredge: An American Girl is based in the 1930’s during the Depression. It centers around a young girl named Kitt Kittredge, whose father loses his job and leaves town to find work. While her father is gone, Kitt’s mother takes in boarders so they can keep their home. The boarders are full of life and entertaining tales. Kitt also meets some hobos passing through town, who end up being blamed for a spree of crimes. Not believing her hobo friends are capable of this deception, Kitt and her friends determine to solve the mystery behind the thefts and get themselves into trouble. Their adventure is thrilling, but not scary.

Kitt is a positive, kind and ambitious girl. Her dream is to be a reporter for the Cincinnati Register. She always carries a notebook with her to record facts and story ideas, and she pursues the Register’s editor relentlessly. Besides illustrating what it means to have a dream, and how one might go about pursuing it at the age of ten, other messages in the movie are believing in the goodness of others, keeping a positive attitude, not letting difficult things in life beat you, and facing the people you love even in the face of adversity or perceived failure. This movie was fun, inspiring and educational. Although it contained sadness, overall it showcased the sunny side of the depression. I enjoyed it as much as my children.

Abigail Breslin stars as Kitt Kittredge; other noteworthy actors in the movie are Julia Ormond, Chris O’Donnell, Joan Cusack, Stanley Tucci, Jane Krakowski and Glenne Headley. To learn more about the DVD or watch the trailer, click here.

Posted in Simple Pleasures | Tagged , , | 15 Comments »

Off the Shelf: 365 Tao~Time

September 9, 2009 by Jodi Sloane

In my last post, I referenced this great new book on my nightstand called 365 Tao: Daily Meditations written by Ming-Dao Deng. As I shared before, I really enjoy these daily meditations. They are so quiet and simple; I feel calm and joyful after reading and contemplating each one.

This is another one of my favorites:

Time
The river, surging course
Uninterrupted current.
Headwater, channel, mouth.
Can they be divided?

Each day, we all face a peculiar problem. We must validate our past, face our present, plan for the future.

Those who believe that life was better in the ‘old days’ sometimes are blind to the reality of the present; those who live only for the present frequently have little regard for either precedent or consequence; and those who live only for some deferred reward often strain themselves with too much denial. Thinking of past, present, and future is a useful conceptual technique, but ultimately they must be appropriately balanced and joined.

We must understand how the past affects us, we should keep the present full of rich and satisfying experiences, and we should devote some energy each day to building for the future. Just as a river can be said to have parts that cannot be clearly divided, so too should we consider the whole of our time when deciding how to spend our lives” (p15).

It is important that we are respectful of our past and the people and events that shaped us; that we are mindful and present in our activities and interactions; and that we keep the future in our sights. Isn’t this beautifully stated by Ming-Dao Deng?

Posted in Books, Mind, Spirit | Tagged , , , | 10 Comments »

Off the Shelf: 365 Tao~Work

September 6, 2009 by Jodi Sloane

I have this great new book on my nightstand called 365 Tao: Daily Meditations written by Ming-Dao Deng. The bookjacket describes it best: “365 Tao is a contemporary book of meditations on what it means to be wholly a part of the Taoist way, and thus to be completely in harmony with oneself and the surrounding world.”  I really enjoy these daily meditations. They are so quiet and simple; I feel calm and joyful after reading and contemplating each one.

This is one of my favorites. I will include another favorite in my next post.

Work
The woodcutter
Works in all seasons.
Splitting wood is both
Action and inaction.

Even when it is snowy, the woodcutter must split wood. Unless he does, he and his family will not stay warm, and those who depend upon him will not survive. But the woodcutter does not work simply on a piecemeal basis. He labors in concert with the seasons: He worked hard to store wood prior to the first cold so that he would have the luxury of merely splitting kindling now. His works seems slight in one season, because he was industrious in the previous one.

When he splits wood, he must place the log on the block and raise his axe. But he must strike the wood with the grain, and he must let the axe fall with its own weight. If he tries to chop across the grain, his effort would be wasted. If he tries to add strength to the swing of the axe, there would be no gain.

Like the woodcutter, we can all benefit from working according to seasonal circumstances. Whether it is the time or the method, true labor is half initiative and half knowing how to let things proceed on their own” (p8).

I like the concept of work being a combination of action and inaction. When we think in terms of this concept, we can achieve better balance in our lives. James Rey once wrote that in life we don’t have balance in the sense that we are paying attention to all important areas of our lives equally at all times. He says this is impossible; balance to him is a myth. He suggested striving for harmony. Our life is harmonious when we realize that we have different parts, all important, and we realize that at certain times we will focus more on one, two or three parts while the other parts are just maintained and at other times, the parts which were most focused upon shift to the back burner while the ones which were somewhat dormant shift into the forefront. I agree with Rey’s concept of harmony, but I prefer to use the terms “balance” and “harmony” interchangeably.

Back when I worked in advertising, my group had an annual planning season. This is when we would gather our media budgets for the upcoming year, reassess who was our target audience and which mediums (TV, radio, newspaper, billboards, etc) we would recommend using to reach them. Then we would put all this together in a grand presentation, which along with the marketing group, we would present for approval by our clients. The clients my team worked with were all around the western U.S. So in addition to working madly on these media plans, presenting them for approval was also quite intense, as we had to travel to do that in a very condensed amount of time. This was clearly a time when my job needed to be the highest priority in my life. I could maintain other things that were important to me, like calling family and exercising a bit each day, but trying to elevate the status of anything else would have been futile. It was far better to accept that for this two month period, I would be eating, sleeping and breathing media planning. How many people do you know who have a job like this, and when it gets crazy busy they still try to cram in all these extra priorities, which end up completely stressing them out, as well as everyone in their wake?

The flip side is that once planning season was over, it was important to re-organize things in the office and get back into a strong maintenance mode. Now would be the time to reignite the focus on the other priorities in life and slow down a bit on the intensity with work. I’ve noticed with others, and sometimes myself too, that sometimes it’s difficult to turn off the intensity in one area and shift back in to “just being” in other areas. Perhaps we get addicted to the intensity, to the rush of feeling so important…But we must do this. Action and inaction are both required for progress and for our well-being.

This concept of action and inaction is also very important when it comes to learning and personal growth. Especially for those of us who may be voraciously seeking self-improvement, or enlightenment. There is certainly a time and place to pursue knowledge and to adapt radical change into our lives. There should also be equal consideration for that time when we let our new knowledge percolate a bit; when we let ourselves absorb what we’ve been learning and learn to live it. When we pursue action and inaction harmoniously, real growth happens. And the process is much more joyful. As the text above states, “true labor is half initiative and half knowing how to let things proceed on their own.”

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